If you’re new to the world of pageants or simply curious about the glittering journey behind the crowns, you’re in the right place.
Today, we bring forward an intimate and inspiring look inside the world of national pageantry – told through the eyes of a devoted mother and her shining star of a daughter. From dazzling gowns and backstage nerves to the powerful bond that grows stronger with each step on stage, this is more than just a story about competition – it’s about confidence, connection, and the making of a dream.
“Crowns are not made of rhinestones. They are made of discipline, determination, and a hard-to-find alloy called courage” – Anonymous
Preparing for Game Day
The SUV was packed as tightly as our week-long trip to Florida. This trip, however, was only four hours away and four days long.
Why did we pack the same amount of stuff? If you are wondering, you likely have not had the National Pageant experience. I am excited that you are allowing me to share it with you.
When going to a pageant, the amount of luggage required is impressive. We had garment bags holding the outfits for each of her four events, as well as a complete set of backups. And believe me, that is just the start.
We were hauling a rolling make-up case with hair tools, products, and accessories. A large bag, I recommend to any pageant family, because it has a raisable bar to transform it into a clothing rack. That bag was stuffed with a power strip, an extension cord, sewing kit, travel steamer (also a must), stain remover, and other pageant-wares.
We had three totes full of swag bags, my daughter and I put together for contestants and other attendees. The last pageant item was a bag full of various sizes of diapers for the community donation.
Now, at this point, a person may have observed and thought, “You are not going to get much more in there”. But I was far from finished. Packing it was skillfully crucial because also very important were the things for my middle son’s 8th birthday. He would turn 8 the first day of competition, so packing a pop-up party and gifts was non-negotiable.
Before I finished, two suitcases, two duffels, four backpacks, a snack bag, a large fold-up wagon (another must), two PlayStation consoles, a small T.V., a laptop, three tablets, a life jacket, a booster seat, three children, and two adults were added to the Tahoe.
I laugh to myself as I reflect on how crazy that sounds. And if you are wondering why we took the PlayStation consoles and TV……..well, with one grown man and two young men attending a four-day beauty pageant, room entertainment was a must.
It was snug, but it all fit. We snapped a quick Pre-Game photo and set the GPS for Cincinati. We were proudly and tightly on our way to The American Royal Beauties (ARB) National Pageant with the reigning Miss Indiana Princess, my five-year-old baby girl, Drew.
The Pre-Game
Drew and I woke up around 6:30 AM at the hotel. We threw on our clothes and together packed the wagon for the day. I laid out the guys’ matching T-shirts, buttons, and signs as we left the three of them asleep and headed for registration.
While she took some poking to get up, once it clicked in her mind the day ahead of us, she sprang into action with enthusiasm. The Mommy-Daughter Duo was fully activated by the time the hotel room door closed behind us and our stuffed wagon.
I pulled the handle while Drew guided the back end as best she could for being 45 pounds. She held the elevator doors while I wiggled the wagon around to get in.
The purposeful march continued when we hit the lobby. I did need to tell Drew there was no time to take the scenic route. She walked briskly in front of the wagon, politely thanking (but never stopping) each person who made a kind comment to her. We crossed the bridge to the convention center and paused only long enough to check the pageant binder I had put together. (very helpful!)
The elevator doors opened to a flurry of color, curls, smiles, wagons, parents, and children of all ages in all different stages of getting ready. Some were fully dressed in curlers, while others were in pajamas.
Drew had on her court member jacket and a pair of Hey Dudes. Drew was excited to receive her swag bag, and I made sure I got her number. You must hold onto that number! (a rookie mistake I have made more than once). Miss Indiana dropped a big bag of diapers off at the community donation table, and we headed back to the lobby for a quick breakfast.
While eating, I started to give her a pep-talk (which is one of our things). We sang one of her pump songs softly before throwing away our trash and heading back across the bridge.
The Locker Room
A pageant dressing room is a fascinating social phenomenon. It’s never a “room”. It is more like a small venue space by itself. This one was the biggest yet!
Opening the doors was like opening the doors to a secret, independent kingdom. It was so busy and so feminine! There were ladies from infants to mature women running around looking for outlets, organizing clothing, and lots and lots of excited chatter.
We found a table and unpacked the wagon. I quickly found an outlet, laid out everything needed first, popped out our portable stools, and got to work on her hair. Hair is the single most time-consuming part of pageants in my experience.
I have always done Drew’s hair myself and did it for all the National pageant events, aside from beauty. Girls six and under are not allowed to wear make up, so all that was left after hair was to put on her business attire.
The first event for my baby girl was the princess interview. In this event, she is called into a room with a panel of judges. She goes in all by herself and answers several impromptu questions.
Prior to the interview, instead of electronics, we played warm-up games. Her favorite one is “name five.” I ask her to name five of something (fruits), and she gets to ask me to name five of something. Finally, her number was called, and she was standing on deck.
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Game Time
Top of the First: Princess Interview
I stood at the door with her until she was called into the room. I asked her if she was nervous, and she said, “nope, I got this”. It took my breath away for a moment because it amazed me how much she had grown from the previous year.
The prior contestant walked out of the room, and it was showtime! We did one final hand signal from a Fortnite dance to the song, “All I do is Win”. I felt the urge to follow her, but I knew I had to stop at the door and let her go.
She walked out the doors about 10 minutes later with a big smile and said, “I rocked it! What’s next?”. Her unjaded enthusiasm was contagious. It gave me a needed energy boost as we headed back to the dressing room.
Second Inning: Princess Introduction
This was a quick change, a drink, a little hair touchup, and another quick pump-up song. Drew had rehearsed her introduction more than anything else. She was ready to get on stage and do it! I could hear her quietly saying it one more time to herself as we held hands and power-walked to the next room.
When we entered the main ballroom, Drew’s Stepdad and two brothers were in the second row. Each wore a shirt that said, “The Drew Crew” and held wooden sticks with a photo of her on the end. Drew loved it.
Soon, they called her division backstage. Without prompting, she told us she had to go. And she was off. I asked her quickly if she was sure she did not want me to go stand with her backstage (as every other time). ‘” Umm, no, I am fine”, she said with a smile and another low-key Fortnite dance. I watched her walk backstage with such determination, responsibility, and positivity. These are things she has grown into during the two years she has been doing pageants.
We all waited anxiously for her name to be called. The boys were more anxious, as they wanted to see Drew and get out of there. I mention it because pageants are great opportunities for family bonding. The boys complained a lot throughout, but NEVER about having to watch Drew. They knew it was important to her, but I could see that they were also proud to watch their sister on stage.
I caught a glimpse of the protective older brothers, too. My oldest, Waylon, repeatedly said, “But she looks so little up there” and “Mom, aren’t you supposed to go get Drew?”. (When she was done). My little middle, Abram, after seeing all the girls in her division, strongly questioned, “Why is she up there with THOSE girls??”.
He was referring to the clear fact that Drew was much smaller comparatively.
None of this, however, phased our Drew Valentina. They eventually called her name, and we all cheered loud enough for people to think there was a much bigger cheering section. It was also loud enough for Drew to spot us and give a huge smile and little wave. After that, she was all business when she hit the stage.
She briefly paused and posed at the top of the stage and proceeded to grab the microphone. She walked all the way to the edge of the stage. She stood on the platform right in front of the judges, which was something very few other girls in her group did. I had never seen her walk so self-assuredly.
With a very strong, clear voice and eyes forward, she gave her introduction.
“Hi, my name is Drew, and I am five. I am from Indiana, and I am a Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoosier (with a flexed muscle). I am so excited to be here! Some cool things about me are that I am good at baseball, good at art, good at games, and I even wrote a book! Isn’t that cool? When I grow up, I want to be a doctor, an artist, and a gardener. The most important reason I want to be a doctor is not the money, it is helping people. Because money doesn’t buy you happiness. I have so many things I want to do, but first I need to start Kindergarten.”
She blew us away. I asked her afterward if she was proud of herself, and she said, “Yeah! I actually am”. I would have told you right then that all the work was worth it. But it was just getting started!
Bottom of the Third: Team Huddle
We could feel the day catching up with us. (besides Drew) We decided to grab lunch together at the center’s concession area. The reality of being at a pageant all day with three kids smacked me on the head quickly, as my children argued over where they would sit. This resulted in returning with food and having nowhere to sit.
I was hungry and knew we needed to mind our time, so I prepared to sit on the floor. A kind man motioned to use that he and his friend could move down, thus, there were four chairs for five people. We made it work.
Well, that was until my daughter, as per usual, left the cap off her drink, and my little middle proceeded to tell a very animated story and, with a sweeping hand gesture, sent the drink flying.
With the table now covered in wet napkins and soda, we needed to start heading back. But wait bonus prize, my eldest, not paying attention to what his body was doing, walked backward into the wagon injuring his foot and landing on his butt in the wagon on top of everything in it.
Ah, it is the things that go wrong that often create the most vivid and laughter-provoking memories. But I digress. The guys headed back to the room. Drew and I headed back to the dressing room.
Top of the Fourth: Runway Wear
I could tell by her mild resistance to a wardrobe change that she was getting tired. I put her back in comfy clothes, got us some actual water (easy to get dehydrated on pageant days), and grabbed her tablet. After that, it was back to our stools for a full hair change.
After about 35 minutes, I was increasing the energy level with my little daughter and helping her step into a mint green dress. I thought she looked adorable, and she seemed to be rallying. We did some pump-up routine moves and headed back to the ballroom. Next up, the runway.
In this event, contestants pick any outfit fitting the theme of the red carpet. They take the stage and proceed through the walking pattern, but with more flexibility and self-expression compared to beauty. The guys were right back in their seats in time to see us walk in. Drew collected some fist bumps and headed backstage.
She LOVES when she gets the “go ahead” for turning on the sass. Runway is one of those times. She did great. Even though she looked little up there, her personality did not!
We all got together afterward and were in full agreement. It was time to go back to the room. We all collapsed on a piece of furniture. The room was very quiet for about 30 minutes as the exhaustion set in. But that moment passed quickly, as they were then very ready for dinner.
We ordered food and ate together. There was no fighting for any of them to go to bed that night. When the whole room was heavily sleeping, I proceeded to collect, steam, and pack for the next day. There was only one event on day two of the competition, but it was the one that determined the National winner. Up next on the schedule: beauty.
Sixth Inning: Beauty Wear
This is one thing I do not love about the way the pageant is scored. The ladies and little ladies participate in so many challenging events. But when the winner is announced, it is the person with the highest score in beauty. Beauty is the single event that determines the next National Queen.
It doesn’t seem to be a process that maximizes the depth of the program. There are many awards and titles given for other events. If you know this going in and can accept it, then it is not a dealbreaker.
I made sure my Drew understood that many awards could be won. And stressed that beauty is not the most important factor in a person. But, because it is a beauty pageant, the overall winner will be the winner of beauty. I encourage Drew to work hardest on events that require important life skills, such as public speaking, and the events she enjoys the most, like talent.
Speaking of talent, I want to mention that Drew did compete in talent. She submitted an off-stage talent, as it was a digital book she had created. Therefore, she did not have to go on stage for talent.
Beauty went smoothly. They all looked beautiful, and my baby was precious in her powder-blue dress. This was the event where being younger seemed to stick out the most. Drew was visibly smaller and her dress less extravagant (because she cannot walk or carry the weight of some of the bigger dresses). She was not as physically mature or coordinated as some of the older girls. And for sure, she did not wear heels like many of her sister queens. Drew was amazing, nonetheless.
She walked the pattern perfectly. She walked slowly and with poise. She made eye contact and smiled throughout her walk. She returned to our seats, proud of herself and happy with her walk. Honestly, this was what mattered the most to me.
Seventh Inning Stretch: Princess Glitter Party
With all events complete, the girls got to put on their National T-shirts and as much sparkle as their little hearts desired. It was time for the Princess Glitter Party! This was a CRAZY but spectacular time. The ballroom was full of girls from babies through six years old. It was loud. It is pink. It was sparkly, and all returned to giggly, wild, unpolished little girls.
They exchanged wrapped gifts with each other in musical chair fashion. They talked with each other and bounced from new friend to new friend. That was until… the Disney Princesses surprised them with a runway show! You would have thought someone very famous had entered the room, as over a hundred little girls screamed and ran in a massive group to the stage.
It was their turn to sit in the seats and watch their favorite fairy tale princesses strut their stuff. Afterwards, the lovely ladies stay to take photos with the very supercharged children.
At the close of the Princess Party, it was back to the room for a goodnight’s rest. All the work was done. The only thing left to do was go to the crowing in the morning.
The Game Finale
The contestants all get back into beauty wear for crowning. I was nervous, but it was a mixture of worried-nervous and excited-nervous. Drew’s brothers were also feeling the nerves. Drew, not so much. She played with one of the baby contestants until her group was called.
It was nerve-racking when all the girls paraded together down the runway one more time. It was not a big enough stage for all of them at once, and Drew, being about the shortest, got stuck behind taller girls. We could not see her! I walked up to the stage to quickly signal Drew to move a little so she could be seen.
They announced all the awards quickly, with all the girls on stage. It took most families a few seconds to realize their girl’s name had been called. All the little girls stood on stage, visibly anxious but smiling and clapping for their sister queens.
Drew received two National titles that day. She is the National Queen of Distinction, which is awarded to the girl who raises the most money for charity. She is also the National Regent Queen, which is the award given to the highest overall score for all public speaking events. She was also awarded Best Smile, a Cover Model jacket, and membership in the National Court. She was glowing, and I am sure I was, too. Even the boys had a visible glow to them as they hugged and congratulated their sister.
Post-Game Wrap Up
I could not be prouder of the titles my daughter was awarded, even though she was not the overall National Queen. Drew won a national title for public speaking… at five! She won a national title for charity fundraising… at five! She will be given a generous check to donate to the non-profit of her choice as the Queen of Distinction. These are all amazing things!
Drew was aware that another little girl was named the National Queen, and she was not bothered by it at all. If you were watching my three children, you would have thought she won the entire thing. That is how happy and celebratory they were together.
That was more than enough for me. My little girl was recognized for her hard work in areas that we value as a family. She made new friends. She showed sportsmanship and tremendous courage. She learned many valuable things through her experience. She celebrated the close of this journey with her family. We returned home without the National Princess title, and it was perfect.
Sibling Survival Tips (Waylon, 11 y/o)
1.) Chill out because you can have more than one thought.
2.) Cheer on your family member.
3.) Don’t add to the stress. It makes it harder for everyone, including you.
4.) Stay positive.
5.) Do right for your sibling. You will feel good about it.
Ways Pageants Can Benefit Mental Health
1.) Builds confidence in social skills
2.) It teaches coping skills for anxiety
3.) Quality time with family
4.) They feel important and special
5.) Learn sportsmanship
6.) Positive socializing with peers
7.) Receiving positive feedback
8.) Increased comfort in public speaking
9.) It creates a sense of belonging to a community
10.) Opportunities for goal setting and achievement
Leslie A. Hagedorn, Mom, LCSW, MSW
