Dear Readers, Parenting skills to help your child boost confidence and develop self-esteem is what we are going to share today in this article. A question that often crosses a mom’s mind when her child starts school or is ready to face the world is, “How can I help my child build confidence and self-esteem early on?” And why not? After all, the days of baby-proofing will soon be behind her, when safety hazards are visible and manageable. Now, the challenge shifts to providing emotional security and resilience in a world she can’t always control.

I once read in the American Psychological Association that, “Low self-esteem or lack of confidence leaves students doubting their ability to succeed, making them hesitant to engage in learning or take appropriate academic growth risks.“ Hence, Building self-esteem, even through small accomplishments, plays a crucial role in helping them overcome this hesitation and grow academically.

Iconic Fashion Kids recently reached out to moms/ teachers, asking what they believe is the most important factor in boosting a child’s confidence. The key takeaways from their responses are summarized below along with a few that we believe should be added on:

1. Share your own struggles with them

Why? Do you tend to hide your struggles from your child? It’s natural to want to shield them from life’s difficulties, but sharing your own challenges can be a powerful way to help them grow. When you’re open about your struggles, it shows your child that no one is perfect, not even parents. This helps them understand that making mistakes and asking for help is part of life. By normalizing these experiences, you encourage them to feel more confident in facing their own challenges with confidence, whether in school or elsewhere, knowing that setbacks are a part of learning and growth. Why not starting it early on by sharing age-appropriate struggles?

2. Ask them for their opinion to help develop self-esteem

40% of the moms had similar thoughts that said Children love to feel like their voices are heard. Make it a habit to ask your child for their opinion on things, big and small. This could be anything from “What shall we have for dinner ?” to “Where should we go for our next vacation?”. When you take their opinions seriously, it shows them that you value their thoughts and ideas.

This practice can significantly boost self-confidence and help them recognize their value promoting self-esteem. When children are accustomed to having their thoughts heard at home, they’re more likely to feel confident expressing themselves in the classroom. It encourages them to participate in discussions, voice their ideas, and take risks in learning, knowing that their contributions are meaningful.

3. Focus on the process, not the end result to develop self-esteem

This insight comes from an elementary school teacher who emphasizes that recognizing effort plays a key role that helps in building a child’s self-esteem. When your child is learning a new skill, it’s important to focus on the effort they are putting in, rather than just the end result. Praise them for their hard work and perseverance, even if they don’t achieve perfection in your eyes. This will definitely help in progressive improvements.

4. Don’t rescue them

It can be tempting to want to swoop in and save your child from every challenge, but this can actually hinder their confidence development. Let your child experience some frustration and figure things out on their own. Of course, you should always be there to provide support and guidance, but don’t do things for them that they can do for themselves.

5. Ensure that challenges are age-appropriate to boost confidence

Practice this at home with your child by giving them challenges. Aim to provide age-appropriate challenges that allow your child to experience success and build confidence. If you give your child a challenge that is too difficult, they are likely to get discouraged. On the other hand, if the challenge is too easy, they won’t get a sense of accomplishment. For example, if your child is learning to tie their shoes, start with simple tasks like practicing with a large, easy-to-handle shoelace alike before moving on to real shoes.

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6. Show respect to everyone

Children learn by example, so it’s important to show respect to everyone you interact with, including your child. This means treating them with kindness, courtesy, and patience. When you show respect for your child, it teaches them to respect themselves and others. There is no right age to start this and this behavior is often carried over into their school life, where they learn to interact positively with teachers, classmates, and staff. Respectful children are more likely to build strong relationships, collaborate well in group activities, and handle conflicts constructively.

7. Become a more confident person yourself

One mom made an important point when she said that building your own confidence is key to helping your child become confident. “They learn what they see”.
Of-course!!! Children are very attuned to their parent’s emotions. If you are constantly putting yourself down or talking about your own insecurities, it can rub off on your child.

Work on building your own confidence so that you can be a positive role model for your child.

8. Allow them to make choices

Giving your child choices, even small ones, can help them to feel more in control of their lives. This could be something as simple as letting them pick out their clothes for the day or choosing what activity to do after school or which PJ to wear at bedtime.

9. Celebrate small victories

It’s important to celebrate your child’s accomplishments, no matter how small. This could be anything from getting a good grade on a test to learning how to use a fork. This point was expressed by 90% of the moms in our survey. When you celebrate their successes, it shows them that you are proud of them and that their hard work is paying off.

A mom said, “Intentional validation as often as possible when a child is observed doing anything well, right, or good builds a kid up. We want them to do so many things (it’s a lot to try to remember and stay on top of for a kid). They may not like that so much as expected, but they ache for validation and approval in everything they do, because they are trying to figure out how to be little humans and trying to figure out if they are “good or bad”. When they are praised for the good things they do (big or small), they feel good about themselves and learn more quickly what is expected of them.”

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10. Manage your own anxiety

If you are a parent who is constantly worried about your child, it can make it difficult for them to relax and be themselves. Work on managing your own anxiety so that you can create a calmer and more supportive environment for your child.

11. Acknowledge their disappointment

It’s okay for your child to feel disappointed sometimes. When they experience a setback, don’t try to minimize their feelings. Acknowledge their disappointment and let them know that it’s okay to feel sad or frustrated. In one statement, let it be the real thing because the world won’t change for them.

12. Do things with them, not for them

Spend quality time with your child and do things that you both enjoy. Play games, dance together, sing together, cook together. Play word games with younger kids. A lot of moms have agreed that the more time they spend with their child, it’s much easier to manage the screen time, which many parents tend to avoid. Here, the key is patience.

What is the difference between Confidence and Self-esteem?

In case you are unaware of the difference between confidence and self esteem, here we explain it for you. Confidence helps your child believe in their ability to perform specific tasks successfully. It’s about trusting themselves to perform well. However, confidence alone isn’t enough. This is where self-esteem comes in, it’s the deeper, more fundamental belief that they are valuable and worthy as a person, regardless of whether they succeed or fail in those tasks. In short, it is the overall sense of self-worth.

We hope you found this article helpful in giving you some valuable insights into building both confidence and self-esteem in your child. While these two qualities are closely related, they play different roles in your child’s development, and together, they form a powerful combination that is much needed as and when they grow up.

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